Dancing Around the Line
by Funeral for Clementine
Summary: EXTREME SPOILERS AND ICKYNESS. Lloyd, Kratos, a line they can't cross and a loselose situation. Kratos x Lloyd, I'm warning you!


All right, you know I have to warn you about this first.

**This fic has crazy huge spoilers for the game. Let's just say the ENTIRE game. So leave if you haven't beaten it yet! Don't read another word!**

**This fic deals with feelings between Lloyd and Kratos. _Romantic_ feelings. Does that gross you out? You wouldn't want to read a whole fic of that then, am I right? points to back button **

**There's swearing in this fic, motherfucker. 3**

K, that's the most important part right there. Seriously though, I can't believe I'm even posting this. I just wrote it because I absolutely love Kratos/Lloyd and there just aren't enough fics of those two! How is it that I've found more _fanart_ than fics of those two? But either way, I'm not saying for a minute that I consider myself a good writer, I just wrote this because I wanted to read another K/L fic even if it had to be my own. XD Hopefully a talented writer will see this and go, "Wow, now I'm totally inspired to write a story on this pairing!" and then the fandom can flourish and I'll be such a happy happy fangirl. So yeah. Go write Kratos/Lloyd everyone plz.

The rest of the team was just sitting there, so silent, as if there wasn't anything that needed to be said. But in some ways, maybe there wasn't. Maybe they really did understand each other without words. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Lloyd stretched his arms over his head, even though he really didn't need to, but so that he could glance over toward Kratos. He was hoping the move would go unnoticed, but their eyes locked immediately. The teenager pretended to sneeze and turned straight ahead, but you wouldn't notice any of this unless you were really looking for it.

Then Lloyd thinks to himself, 'If Kratos actually can understand me without words, then I'm screwed.'

…

And of course, his stupid, embarrassing, raging and all too obvious teenage hormones just had to kick in at the words "Kratos" and "screwed" in the same sentence. It's not like this is anything new to Lloyd, just hearing this man's name makes him queasy and nervous but mostly really, really lovesick.

--

Skip to that evening, or any evening, right around the time when Zelos complains about his aching feet and Genis can't seem to keep his eyes open. Right around the time when Raine, always the motherly figure, says it's time to call it a day. The time when Lloyd's stomach starts doing somersaults and his palms start sweating.

This part always depends on their funds, and how much Raine says they can spend on hotel rooms. On a bad day all the guys are crammed into one room and the girls in another, but on those lucky days when they're allowed to actually get a good night's sleep it's always two or three to a room. And this is the part when Lloyd starts feeling nauseous and sick but it's a good kind of sick because he knows who his roommate is going to be. Lloyd always smiles to himself at this part, because he remembers how it used to be: how Raine and Genis shared a room because Genis was too shy around anyone else, how Presea and Regal wanted nothing to do with the others, and how Colette would fidget fidget fidget like a nervous train wreck at the thought of sharing a room with a boy. But now it's evolved into Zelos grabbing Genis by the arm shouting "good night" as the door closes, Colette laughs at something Regal says as they enter Presea's room, and Sheena and Raine cross their arms and tap their feet like they're annoyed at the prospect of sharing a room even though you can still see them smirking at each other. So naturally, after all this, who are you left with?

And that's where Lloyd is now. He's walking into a room with one sofa and one bed and one 4000-year-old mercenary. The sofa, it's a perfectly fine place to sleep. Lloyd even thinks it's a better place to sleep, without the creaking springs of the old stained mattress. But instead Lloyd takes off his shirt and climbs into the bed every time. That way, he figures, he can always leave Kratos with the choice of where to sleep.

And every time when he feels the left side of the mattress dip under the man's weight, he smiles. And he smiles even more when he wakes up in the middle of the night to find the surprisingly restless sleeper facing him or with limbs thrown over him or his body pressed against him. So maybe Lloyd isn't getting as much sleep as he should be, but he doesn't exactly complain.

--

Lloyd thinks back to this one time when he spent the entire day with just Kratos. He remembers that it definitely had something to do with Zelos, and he just wanted to get away from everyone, so one morning he just stormed out hoping to find some way to calm down. And he remembers that Kratos followed him, and even though he should have been mad because he did say he wanted to be alone, instead he just smiled his huge goofy smile and the two of them walked side by side. It was funny, but Kratos was actually smiling too, and he remembers his companion having a smile on his face just about the entire time. Nothing they did was extraordinary – ate lunch while girls whispered and giggled at them, sparred outside of town, and spent the rest of the day at the beach. It didn't seem like they had stayed long, but Lloyd remembers how Kratos' shoulders were burned and blistering for days after that. Lloyd thought it was the funniest thing that Kratos, the angel, elite mercenary, perfection personified, sunburned easily. He remembers Kratos telling him there's no way he's doing that again without sunscreen and the two of them laughed. Lloyd remembers every single detail of that day, that perfect day, the kind of day that defines your life and you wish you could just die the next day because nothing will ever top it. Or at least, that's how Lloyd felt for a little while, because traveling with this man he loves so much really isn't too bad.

--

Lloyd knows he can't just keep stealing glances and daydreaming forever. He's a teenage boy, with these fierce hormones and a fierce sex drive and a fierce obsession with this man, Kratos, a man who just happens to be his father for crying out fucking loud.

And when Lloyd thinks of it this way he gets fucking angry. You can always tell when Lloyd is fucking angry because he swears like no one can believe. Everything sets him off because he's mad as shit at his situation, his lose-lose situation. Because he knows that a man could never love his son the way he wants to be loved. He knows that if he tells him how he feels things will never be the same. And most importantly, he knows that he needs this god damned man in his life, so he's back to where he started, at his lose-lose situation. He finds himself sick and perverse because he loves this man so much, because he's _in_ love with this man. And even though female Raine is sleeping with female Sheena and that's okay, male Zelos is sleeping with male and fucking 12-years-old Genis and that's okay, Lloyd still doesn't think anyone will understand.

--

Kratos is 4000 years old. You don't just live to be 4000 years old and not gain a little insight into how people work. You meet a lot of people in 4000 years, and learn a lot about them. So it really comes as no surprise that Kratos has gotten really, really great at telling how people actually feel.

He could probably recall the exact day when Zelos realized he was in love or some other insignificant thing like that, but now he's come to realize that he's completely clueless when it comes to himself.

It's that stupid voice. Lloyd's stupid voice. Every time he hears that voice he knows the blood is rushing to his face. Every time he sees those huge eyes he has to remember to breathe. And every time he wakes up next to the kid – yes, he's still a kid – these bothersome emotions boil up inside of him and he just wants to touch his face and kiss him and hold him and give him everything he can give. But Kratos is thankful that he isn't stupid. He knows not to cross this line, for everyone's sake. And that if he does cross this line – who drew this fucking line, anyway? – all the damage he'd cause would be completely irreparable. So he can't say that he's "in love" with Lloyd, all he can say is that he loves his son, because that's the closest he can get to the line right now.

--

Lloyd's days have been quiet lately. Everyone's been trying so hard not to tread on any sensitive topics now. The teenage boy just can't stand to have another conversation about the weather, that's for sure.

But there's something different today. He notices that Kratos looks… uneasy. And if there's something that makes Kratos uneasy, it must be really horrible.

Lloyd calls his name and sits beside him. It's always "Kratos", he wonders why it's never "Dad" or "Father". The two don't speak for a while, but it's obvious they both want to. It's different from their comfortable, companionable silence. And it's making Lloyd nervous now because he keeps wondering if Kratos has figured out his filthy secret, but he only really considers it "filthy" sometimes because he knows he truly loves Kratos and couldn't change if he tried.

Kratos stares straight ahead, and Lloyd can see his mouth open, like he's just about to speak, but he doesn't. He just sits there. Looking perfect. And he's just so close. Lloyd inches closer so the sides of their legs are touching, and he thinks to himself that there really isn't anything weird about this. They're just sitting. Barely touching.

So Kratos curls his arm around Lloyd and rests his hand on his waist. This still isn't weird.

Lloyd has this uncontrollable grin on his face and Kratos is smiling too, but Kratos is mostly concerned with this huge blush he's sure is on his face. But he thinks he'd blush if he was sitting this close to anyone, really.

And then Lloyd snaps, and he's not smiling any more, and Kratos gets this wave of sickness – the bad kind of sickness. But he doesn't feel it for long because now he's on the ground with Lloyd pinning him down so hard he can feel the nails digging into his skin.

Now Lloyd just stares. Seems like forever. Almost as if he's asking if he's gone too far this time, but he knows that he has. He's sick of dancing around it and hiding it now, so he leans down and kisses Kratos before he has time to reconsider. Then Lloyd tries to pull away so he can run run run forever and never see this man again, but he feels a hand on his face and a tongue on his lips so he sinks into him and relaxes. Each touch is electrifying and makes him shiver, though he still can't quite wrap his mind around what is happening.

They separate, just barely, just enough to focus in on the other's eyes, each hoping for some kind of reassurance that it isn't some awful joke. It definitely isn't, they can tell this by looking at the other's face, so they kiss again. This time they can't even tell who leaned in first. And there isn't even any hesitation – no feelings of disgust or uneasiness, because whatever held them back before is so insignificant now. Those feelings of shame just don't measure up to real affection.

--

Kratos is sitting behind Lloyd, one hand linked with the teenager's and the other touching his hair. Now they're perfectly relaxed, and they're speaking, but they're not speaking about their new relationship because saying "relationship" doesn't feel right. It feels too shallow, superficial, temporary, that's not what this is. But they're not talking about that right now, because right now there's nothing they need to work out. It's just Lloyd. And Kratos. And they're in fucking love, and they have been for a while now.

The two of them stand and start heading back to the Inn. Neither is even remotely concerned about how everyone else will react, because it's the most natural thing in the world for Lloyd and Kratos to have their fingers laced and walking to the Inn together.

Later, Lloyd talks about how funny the look on Raine's face was after nearly choking on her tea, how red Colette's face turned, and how Regal's eye was twitching uncontrollably. But tonight there's just Lloyd, Kratos, an uncomfortable bed and a vacant couch.

So… yeah… that's it. This is the part I hate the most, after you post a story then you see that review alert!" in your inbox and you're like OH SNAP SON because you expect it to be a flame. Although I guess posting a story like this you're bound to get tons of flames. XD Either way, I hope someone liked it, haha. Viva LUEshi!

ForgottenFayth


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